I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Randomize
