It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
