first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
