brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Is Oprah even human
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
