We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
