i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
