and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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