I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
