so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
