No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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