Porn is love you can see.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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