It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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