I want to make a zoo with you.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
My vagina is very pro this idea
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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