Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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