I hate all girls vehemently.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
tell your sister to shave her snatch
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
