I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
