You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize