Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
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