cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
