Kiss
Puke
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
