so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
