there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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