I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Randomize
