hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
