We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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