I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
That's when you crack a 10am beer
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
