youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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