i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize