connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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