I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
she woke up with a sticky ear
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
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Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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