He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
areolas are like halos for boobs.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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