That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Randomize
