u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
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