Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
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Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
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I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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