I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
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she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
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It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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