You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize