alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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