fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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