Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize