Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
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