Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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