He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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