why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
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