these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
