I'm drive I can fine osifer
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
