Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
