I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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