Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
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