How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
