What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
