It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
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so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
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Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize