the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
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