Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
