How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
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