That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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