OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
