You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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