Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
