I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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