Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Randomize
