allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Ambien. No doubt about it.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I would ride that face into the sunset