I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war