but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
No subtext here. People are naked.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
