Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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