i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Your penis caused this!
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