then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
