Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
